I’m finally going to say it: I have a shopping addiction.
That got serious real fast, didn’t it?
But seriously, I have a problem. Unfortunately, I am one of those people where if I see something I (think) I want, I have to get it immediately in my mind. It may be because it’s on sale, or I just think it would be perfect to have for whatever reason. There’s really no rhyme or reason most of the time, just that I want it.
Thankfully, God has been working on my heart regarding this for some time now. A few months ago, Chris and I did a reading plan on the YouVersion app discussing the topic of money and what God’s Word says about it. All of the usual things that I know but never implemented popped out immediately: what you have is a gift from God alone, borrower is slave to the lender, etc. I had studied these things in the past, but it wasn’t until we started this reading plan that it all finally hit me. Granted I’m not perfect about it still, but I’d like to think I’m better at handling myself.
I find it interesting that God changes the things that you want changed immediately, over time. For example, my mindset typically is very depressive if I’m upset. (Ironic considering my blog’s name, right?) I have been like this for a long time, and I pray constantly for God to change me and make me better. It frustrates me when He doesn’t. However that’s the thing about God: He doesn’t give it to you immediately because if He did, you may end up putting Him off to the side because you didn’t have to rely on Him throughout the process. Of course I don’t remember that in the moment, but it’s true.
In the end, it’s actually a good thing that He doesn’t make us better or “perfect” overnight. Besides, we are not meant to be perfect until we get to Heaven. So if you’re like me, and you’re stuck in this rut of, “I’m not good enough,” or “I keep messing up,” give it to God. In time, He WILL make you better but on His timing. It’s a hard thing to remember, but surely not impossible. One thing you can certainly always remember and have running through your mind, though, is You are worthy. Right now, as you are. That includes me, too. Related to this, I recommend checking out my friend’s blog, The Reluctant Bride. She recently made a great post about worthiness, so check it out here.
Mommas, let’s all come together on this; who else struggles with self worth and trusting God’s plan to make them better? Let me know in the comments below and let’s get a conversation going!
-The Optimistic Momma